Sex Therapy, Psychotherapy, Couples Counseling
“Marty Klein’s analysis is invaluable. If you aren’t already reading him, you should be.” -Dan Savage
“Some of the most open, common-sense advice you’re going to find…and Klein is funny to boot.” –USA Today
Lectures, Keynotes & Training Seminars
Millions of couples argue about porn.
The arguments sound like they’re about porn, but they really aren’t.
The conflict almost invariably involves a woman who’s unhappy with a man’s porn-viewing, while the man defends himself or criticizes the woman’s unhappiness. Couples can argue about porn for hours, over months and years, and easily avoid talking about what’s really bothering them.
The arguments typically sound like this: “I don’t want you looking at porn because…
Criminalizing surgical abortion and abortion pills, demonizing fertility treatments like IVF, limiting contraceptive access and the Morning After pill—many media call this a War on Women.
No it isn’t.
As I first described in my 2012 book, it’s a War On Sex.
Framing this as a War on Women is a political mistake. It’s why there hasn’t been sufficient outcry from men about these various limits on THEIR rights.
Therapists face ethical dilemmas beyond “Don’t have sex with patients.”
How do we deal with therapy’s unintended impacts? What about couples who want a baby for all the wrong reasons? Or cases when another therapist is interfering with a patient’s insight?
Especially when it comes to sex, therapists don’t get nearly enough training in…
More than half of all Americans live in states that now (or by year’s end) will require them to prove they’re adults in order to access most legal porn sites.
How can you prove you’re a grownup? By uploading your driver’s license, passport, mortgage or employment record.
Raise your hand if you want to share that kind of data with the government—in the context of watching porn, no less.
One of the most common problems people come to see me about?
“I have low desire.”
“He has low desire.”
“She has low desire.”
In response, I ask lots of questions. We talk. And at least half the time, I surprise people: “I don’t think this is a desire issue.”
Saying no to something when you don’t expect to enjoy it isn’t a “problem,” it’s common sense.
At our first session, when I ask “what would you like to accomplish in our therapy,” people will often mention their fantasies (too weird?), their desire (too low, too high), or their penis or vagina (which won’t do what they want when they want it).
Very few people say “I want to feel less shame.” Of course not—they’re too ashamed.
Sexual shame has many causes–and it’s usually not an individual’s fault. It takes many forms, which therapy can often reduce.