Education should not stop over the summer. Keep your kids away from polarization

Turning on the television, or scrolling through any news site or social platform, we can find a multitude of topics that divide us as a society, that turn neighbor against neighbor, and that if we are not careful, will not only be passed on to our children, but will ultimately grow to the point of polarization and hate. The summer months, when school’s out, remind us of the integral role parents have in their child’s informal education, and if we harness the opportunity, we can help correct some societal wrongs, teach our children to play with those from backgrounds different from ours, learn more about diversity and inclusion and possibly even “that neighbor” can talk to a neighbor, even if they disagree about who should be the next president, or conflicts in Europe, the Middle East and Africa.

When we think about our children’s education, our minds usually focus on the ten months a year they spend in the classroom, and the enriching time that builds their “book smarts.” But their time outside of the classroom allows them to develop their thoughts, their opinions and most of all their image of what type of person they want to become. That’s where parents, family members, community and faith leaders and the multitude of other people with whom they interact serve as role models to help shape them for their future outside of the classroom. In doing so, we must not only focus on the issues of today but what is to become if future generations only see society’s polarities and build on them, resulting in a less tolerant and society.

How can we help our kids avoid polarization?

So here are some ideas of how we can both steer our children away from polarization, but still teach them the importance of standing up for what they feel is right:

• Stand for, not against something: When we think about many of the vitriolic chants cried in protests across the country calling for the demise of another group, we must take a moment to think about how that looks to our children, and how that trains them to avoid the “other,” eventually creating an exclusionary generation in the place of one that sees itself of inclusion. But that doesn’t mean that you should not be able to stand for something just because of what your child might be seeing. Instead, when bringing a child to a rally, think about what the sign you carry says, think about the chants you might cry out — are they standing for what you believe in? Or are they negative about the side represented by counter-protesters? When we teach our children to stand for something more than hate the other, we are helping to frame their moral code while also showing them the value of rallies and protests in support of the causes we hold dear.
• Think about how you speak about the other side before and after making your voice heard: Our children don’t only learn from our actions but from our words, especially those spoken within the intimacy of our homes, our cars, and even walks with their parents. While we may not always be addressing them, they are listening, not only to our words but our word choices. It is natural to disagree with someone else, and that is something we must convey to the next generation, it is even natural to dislike a person. But when our words and actions show that we dislike a group because they do not agree with us or vote for those challenging our candidates, that is where a line gets crossed and where — unless we are careful — our children will learn from us and become more polarized thinkers and more radical actors. Being a parent or role model does not mean having to abandon your individual opinion. Instead, focus your efforts on teaching your child about why your side is right, not just why the other side is wrong. Always try to avoid disparaging others or beliefs counter to yours.
• Social justice is not just about protesting, but about helping one another: Take time to show, and ensure your children understand the value of neighborly acts and communal charity outside of rallying in support for a crisis. Volunteer at a food pantry, help someone elderly cross the street, perhaps even buy someone who’s unhoused a meal. We each encounter on a daily basis a multitude of individuals and causes where we can help. When our children are watching, that single act has a much greater impact.

What skills can your kids develop this summer?

As informal educators, it is crucial to reflect on the lessons and messaging we impart to children during the summer. What values do we want to reinforce? What skills do we want them to develop? Summer is an ideal time to focus on character education, teaching children about kindness, empathy, responsibility, and resilience. These are qualities that will serve them well throughout their lives, regardless of the career paths they choose, and help build a more just society.

The summer months hold tremendous potential for children's growth and development through informal education. By embracing the opportunities presented during this time, we can help children learn valuable life lessons, develop important skills and foster a lifelong love for humanity. Find ways to foster dialogue about life’s challenges and be reflective instead of reactive.

This summer, let’s help to fix society’s woes by teaching our children to stand for something, not against others.

Rabbi Benny Berlin is the rabbi of BACH Jewish Center located in Long Beach, New York. For more information, visit bachlongbeach.com