Even ‘The New Pope’ Is Obsessed With Meghan Markle

Everyone is obsessed with Meghan Markle right now — and apparently that includes The New Pope as well, as evidenced by this unbelievable and also immaculately timed running joke the show’s got going on.

At the beginning of the third episode, John Brannox (John Malkovich), still considering if he wants to take on the role of pope, stares out the window until he’s interrupted by a phone buzzing. “It’s Meghan Markle, sir. She does not know what to wear,” he is informed.

“What a nuisance,” he sighs. “Tell her I’ll phone her later.”

That’s right, Brannox has just informed us that he’s not only important enough to be associated with the royal family but important enough to even decline their calls! Of course, in this show it’s likely assumed she’s still an active member of the royal family.

Oh, and that’s not the only name-dropping this guy will do. He informs Sofia (Cécile de France), “My favorite famous people are Dennis Hopper, Jack Nicholson, Sean Penn, Sharon Stone, and Marilyn Manson,” because “they seem free.” He even asks her, “If I were to become pope, might I be able to meet them?” and she lets him know “All except Dennis Hopper.” Fun fact: the last two will appear in the next two episodes of the series as themselves.

Remaining as playful as ever, Sofia tells Brannox that he reminds her of “My favorite actor, John Malkovich.”

He responds with a very typical, “Doesn’t do much for me.” Oh, The New Pope, you crazy for that one!

Sofia also asks Brannox about the photograph of him with the queen that she found in her room, asking “What’s she like, the queen?”

“Enchanting, because she’s pale like you,” he tells her.

At that moment, his phone buzzes and this time he answers. “Hello? Yes, wear the yellow Dior. Because it plays up the contrast with your complexion. No, no Meghan I’m adamant, wear the yellow Dior I said,” is all we can hear from his side of the conversation, but it’s enough to know what’s happening.

“Was that Meghan?” Sofia asks.

“Regrettably,” he tells her. “They want to be influencers yet they have no idea of color or combination. She calls me 25 times a day for beauty tips. She thinks I’m gay,” he states.

Perhaps the conversation of potential celebrities that he could meet helps Brannox ultimately (after much back and forth) decide to accept the position and joins the crew on their journey back to the Vatican. From the backseat of the car as they drive away from his mansion, he laughs to himself, “What will Meghan do without me?”

Also: this is not the end of the joke! It continues in future episodes! Popes: they’re (also obsessed with Meghan Markle) just like us.

Where to stream The New Pope