Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
In 2005, I was basically at the top of the indie DJ game. The Misshapes considered me their first “celebrity guest DJ.” My DJ partner Karen Ruttner, aka KarenPlusOne, and I —under our duo moniker of The Tarts of Pleasure (a play on the Franz Ferdinand track “Darts of Pleasure,” which we were CERTAIN would be a huge hit and make our name instantly familiar; it didn’t)— threw a weekly Friday night party called Stolen Transmission at a grungy Lower East Side spot called Orchard Bar. Stolen Transmission was so much fun it was voted the best party in America by PAPER Magazine and I was voted Best DJ.
I beat Steve Aoki for the title of Best DJ.
Twice.
In the early 2000s, Steve and I became buddies. His record label, Dim Mak, released music by artists like Bloc Party, Battles, Von Bondies, and The Kills, all of whom I regularly wrote about in the pages of SPIN, on my blog (Ultragrrrl.com), played during my DJ sets, or booked shows for around Manhattan. I recognized his name because his sister, Devon, was sort of a supermodel. One night in 2005, Steve dropped by Stolen Transmission and hung around for a while. I thought it was because he wanted to dance to Joy Division and the Smiths as Karen and I haphazardly mixed our way through a killer disco-punk set, but as the hours went on he leaned over and asked, “Do you think I could crash on your couch tonight? I got into a fight with my dad and I can’t stay at his.” I fondly remember that we stayed up until 6am playing new bands for each other in my bedroom and talking about life. Excited about a random old connection we had, I told Steve that I grew up virtually a stone’s throw his father’s mansion in Tenafly, NJ. He shrugged and indicated that he hardly had a relationship with his dad which surprised me because up until that point I was positive Dim Mak was fueled by hibachi.
Fast forward 11 years, and this difficult relationship with his father, Benihana restaurateur Rocky Aoki, gets compassionately explained in the inspiring Netflix documentary, I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead. The film, directed by Justin Krook, details Steve’s meteoric rise from weirdo outsider to world’s biggest DJ. It’s a fast-moving documentary that’s constructed to follow Aoki through an album release cycle and conclude with a huge show, but instead serves as a reminder that I’ve basically done nothing with my DJ career. Just kidding. (Sort of.)
Just like Jiro Dreams of Sushi isn’t just for people who love raw fish, I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead isn’t just for electronic dance music fans curious about how someone can make it big in the shallow world of molly culture. What could’ve easily played out like a douche-filled ego fest —after all, it’s a documentary about a DJ who flies all over the world and throws sheets of birthday cake with INSANE precision at concert goers— is instead an inspirational reminder that being a genuinely nice person and fostering friendships is a major key to career success. It also serves as a surprising look into the exhausting life of a man who managed to turn a hobby into an empire, as well as an exploration into the driving force for his success: the desire to impress his father.
The film explores Steve’s origin story through the lens of Rocky Aoki’s origin story as a thrill-seeking, Olympic-qualifying undefeated flyweight wrestling champion in the early ’60s. His desire to entertain (and build his empire) came at the cost of a relationship with his youngest children. With the majority of the interviews given by family members (including supermodel and actress, Devon Aoki), close business associates, and Steve’s girlfriend, we learn less about the excess of the DJ world and more about the pain fueling one of the nicest dudes in the game.
[Watch I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead on Netflix]
Sarah Lewitinn, aka Ultragrrrl, is a DJ, Proudcer, and Music Director living in New York City where she tweets almost exclusively about Mr. Robot and the 2016 Presidential election.
