The Final Installment Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker, Featuring The Greatest Anagrammed Hits
Many—most?—Orioles games feel vaguely pointless right now. The end result is usually clear before the game is underway, and while there’s plenty of different ways for the team to reach that result, those differ only in substance rather than sentiment. It’s all going to be pretty depressing. This was...
The Sixers Blew It
With a little more than five minutes remaining in the first half tonight, Robert Covington drained a three, stretching the 76ers’ lead over the Celtics to 21 points. Philadelphia was in control here, with no signs of loosening their grip. And then they sent all of that to hell. Over the next quarter...
LeBron James Remains A Damn Miracle
The No. 1 seed Raptors, again, built a first-half lead tonight only to squander it, losing 128-110 to fall behind 2-0 in their second-round series against the Cavaliers. And while it may be tempting to file this one away as yet another classically Raptorsian playoff performance, there’s only so much...
A Very Special Edition Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker: Let Viable Man Single!
The Engelb Vielma tracker is back, and this time it holds some excellent news for the utility infielder. When we left the 23-year-old last week, he had been sent down to Triple-A. But he was called back up to join Baltimore’s big-league club yesterday, and today—well, today, he got his first hit....
Report: Donald Trump Spent Quality Time Last Week Talking Football With Bill Belichick
In 1993, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen found time between Full House episodes to record an album called I Am the Cute One. Songs include “I Am a Kid,” “I Love to Scream,” and “No One Tells the President What to Do.” The last of those is a celebration of the truth of its title—the president can do whate...
Former Washington DT A.J. Francis Rips Team On Instagram After Signing With Giants: "Your Logo Is Racist"
Defensive tackle A.J. Francis signed with the New York Giants today after being released by his former team, Washington, on Monday. He celebrated the move with an Instagram post that’s way more good riddance than goodbye. ...
Yoenis Céspedes Busts His Chain, Scatters Diamonds On Diamond
Yoenis Céspedes paid a high price for a one-out double in the first inning tonight against the Braves. After sliding into second, he realized that his chain had broken—leaving gemstones all around the bag. While none of his teammates were able to bring him home, second baseman Asdrubal Cabrera did s...
Pedro Alvarez Clotheslines Teammate Chance Sisco
The Orioles are the worst team in the American League by record—8-20, tonight’s ongoing game against the Angels not included—and by just about everything else, too. (See: a collective OPS of .673.) Here’s a play from tonight that sums all that up pretty well: Pedro Alvarez running into Chance Sisco ...
Drake And Kendrick Perkins Start An Amusingly Lopsided Feud At Game 1 Of Cavs-Raptors
Noted Toronto fan (and former failed basketball player) Drake stirred a little beef with Cleveland bench goon Kendrick Perkins during tonight’s Raptors-Cavaliers Game 1. It started with some words at halftime......
Raptors Prove That They Can Choke Spectacularly Even When They're The Top Seed
After jumping out to an early lead, the Raptors caved and let the Cavaliers take a Game 1 victory in overtime tonight, 113-112. ...
Nigel Hayes Says That He And Wisconsin Teammates Discussed Boycotting 2016 Game To Protest NCAA
At a panel discussion on college sports this week, as reported by USA Today, basketball player Nigel Hayes said that he discussed boycotting a 2016 game with his Wisconsin teammates to protest the NCAA’s failure to properly pay its athletes....
Josh Hader Is Striking Everybody Out
Josh Hader wasn’t supposed to be the highlight of Milwaukee’s bullpen. He was coming off a strong rookie year, but the star of the relief corps was going to be closer Corey Knebel, fresh off a record-setting strikeout streak from 2017. But then Knebel went down with a hamstring injury in the first w...
The Celtics Gave The Sixers A Game-One Beatdown
The 76ers had nearly a week off between closing out their easy first-round series against the Heat and kicking off their second-round one against the Celtics, and it showed. Against a Boston squad missing Jaylen Brown, who was sidelined with a hamstring injury, they couldn’t hang—getting beat down b...
Corey Seager Is Out For 2018, Adding To Team's Extremely Long List Of Present Woes
Los Angeles Dodgers shortstop Corey Seager will miss the rest of the season after undergoing Tommy John surgery, the team announced today....
Here Are Your 2018 First-Round NFL Draft Picks
The first round of the draft is over! Here’s what happened:...
Ryan Shazier Walks On Stage To Announce The Steelers' First-Round Pick
Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker Ryan Shazier walked out on stage to announce the team’s first-round pick at tonight’s draft—one of only a few public appearances that he has made since suffering a serious spinal injury during a game in December, and the first one in which he’s been able to walk withou...
Report: The NHL Called The Bruins To Ask Brad Marchand To Stop Licking Other Players
The NHL called up the Bruins to let them know that Brad Marchand should not be licking or nuzzling his opponents, as first reported by SportsNet and later confirmed by ESPN. ...
Baker Mayfield Receives Honor Of Being Next Doomed Cleveland QB
Cleveland took Oklahoma QB Baker Mayfield with the top pick off the board in this year’s quarterback-heavy first round....
Russell Westbrook Brought The Thunder Back
The Thunder weren’t supposed to get this one. Down 3-1 in their first-round series against the Jazz, and down by as many as 25 points as late as the middle of the third quarter tonight, this elimination game felt pretty damn close to a foregone conclusion. Until it felt like something else—a ridicul...
Once Again, Here Was LeBron
With a little more than seven minutes to play in the fourth quarter of tonight’s Game 5 between the Pacers and Cavaliers, Kyle Korver made a three. That was the last field goal that Cleveland would score until the buzzer sounded. ...